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I Have No Idea


https://tenor.com/view/ellen-ellendegeneres-bekind-oneanother-show-gif-4410719 - A quote that Ellen Degeneres says at the end of every show and a powerful reminder that has always meant so much to me.

Lately, I've been very reflective. This reflection has covered many aspects of my life. More specifically, I've come to the realisation that I often complaining about how people have treated me, or offended me. Just me, me and more me. It's always about how I'm the victim.

Then one night when I couldn't get to sleep, I decided to watch a video interview on YouTube that I'd seen earlier in the day. It was an interview with Kayla Stoecklein (I'll link it below) who is the wife of Andrew Stoecklein, a pastor who, unfortunately, died by suicide in August last year.

I bring up this interview to hone in on one thing she spoke about. She relayed a quote from a sermon Andrew's mother had preached in their church in the months following his death. And this quote was 'I have no idea'.

And in that moment it hit me so hard.

I finally realised that I'd been selfishly inward looking and victimised myself so much that I was oblivious to the probable suffering of other people.

For many of us this isn't even done in a shallow or malicious way. It may be down to anxiety, which can really affect your view of yourself and cause you to negatively focus on how others view you. So much so that you forget to think about the fact that they are human beings with human problems too.
Kayla reminded me of that. And I'll consciously make an effort never to forget this. We are all going through our own issues and are at different stages of our lives; whether it be bullying, different forms of abuse, low self-esteem, depression and anything more you can imagine. The list is endless.

We shouldn't lock ourselves so much in our bubble that we fail to recognise that, and selfishly attribute every negative action towards us as a reflection of who the other person is. Of course, I'm not encouraging anyone to remain in friendships/relationships where people repeatedly treat you poorly, as this can be detrimental to your own health and sanity. But none of us are perfect. And that is an understatement. Understatement of the century.

So I've decided that I will have this thought at the back of my mind every time it wants to run to accusing, attacking or judging somebody⁠⁠—even if it is done in my mind rather than directly.

I have no idea. I have no idea what they are going through.



***The Interview: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFmoLTVxdgA
Samaritans Telephone Number: 116 123***



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