Loneliness

Source: https://www.istockphoto.com/gb/photos/standing-out-from-the-crowd

You've probably heard the saying that "you can be in a room full of people and still feel lonely". It sounds cliche, but rings so true for so many of us.

I've been wanting to make a post about this for months, but have only just found the words to say it (without being mean hahaha).

I've recently felt the loneliness that the above quote epitomises. At first, I thought it was me; that maybe I wasn't loud enough or wasn't good at making friends. But one thing I'm learning is not to criticise myself over things I can't necessarily control. I objectively evaluated the situation and found that I'm not too quiet (though I may be introverted) and I'm not awkward (most of the time) nor am I bad at making friends.

I kept wondering why I felt like I had a lot of friends yet still felt alone on a day-to-day basis. The first obvious reason is that it's my summer vacation and I'm not in physical proximity with a lot of my friends so can't meet up as quickly or easily as usual. But I realised for the past year this loneliness has come in and out of focus and that there must be a deeper reason.

This reason, I have concluded, is social media. Now, this isn't one of those pieces that aims to criticise social media and blame it for all of society's problems. I love some aspects of social media, in that you can share and laugh with others through different forms of messages, from tweets, to Instagram posts and stories.

However, there is a huge downside to this. It seems that we have forged this false sense of familiarity with people through seeing them on social media. Thus I was finding myself feeling like I had a basis on which to build friendships, but wouldn't receive the same response in person.

It would be confusing because, where I saw some compatibility with certain people, it wasn't translating into actual friendship. And a lot of people say that you should never overestimate your relationships with people, in that you shouldn't give yourself certain hierarchy in their lives when you may not actually be that close. And I completely agree with this sentiment, but it becomes difficult to know where you stand with people when social media interaction begins to blur the lines between an online and real life friendship.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I would encourage us not to simply engage with people over Instagram posts or stories, but to try to forge genuine friendships. Of course, we don't get along with, nor are we compatible with everybody, but we just need to look up a bit more, beyond what we post on social media and realise that behind stories and posts are real-life people with real-life issues beyond social media, and as people we need each other. We need genuine love and interaction.

I am also challenging myself to try and reach out to people, going further than a 'like' or a reply to a story. It becomes hard when you're busy and juggling so many responsibilities, but let's remember that when all of those things are getting us down, we need people.

We need each other to do life, so let's appreciate each other now. Choose someone to reach out to  today. I'm sure they'll appreciate it.

And if you've ever wanted to reach out to me, and felt weird, don't. Feel free to do it. I always want new friends (but nothing strange hehehe xxxxx).